I Wish I Had Been More Ambitious

Seeing as I have little else to do at the moment, I figure I'll toss a quick update on here. I am currently in South Jersey at the Wittwer house, spending quality time with the family and the North. I am hoping to get at least one interview while I am up here so that when I do leave South Carolina I have an income to look forward to. I can not imagine spending more than another month or so at the Aquarium working with some of the people I do. I feel bad for my boss and a couple of competent employees in my department, but other than that I can not wait to make my escape.
When Abby was here the other night, we were trying to explain the Wittwer side of the family to her, which was a silly idea on our part. There is no explaining the Wittwer side. However, this attempt led to my Mom breaking out the genealogical research she has been doing. It's fascinating. I've actually learned a lot of things I never knew about my family, specifically my Dad's side. I hope we can continue to trace the lineage beyond what we have now, which is the mid-1800's on both sides.
The reason I'm up here this week is for Michelle's graduation from high school. I can not believe how old my siblings are. It's surreal to see Chelle come home with a cap and gown or to have Ken drive me around. Chelle will be starting at Cedar Crest College in the fall, and I am very excited that she gets to live on campus and get the whole college experience that I missed out on. At the same time, I am urging Ken to consider applying to a variety of places. I feel like I was not ambitious enough in my college application process. I applied to Temple, West Chester, Elizabethtown, and Neumann and ended up going to Rowan and eventually Temple. I feel like I should have applied to schools in NYC or DC, gone somewhere regardless of how many people I knew there or its proximity to me. Knowing now how much debt I went into while trying to stay close to home and affordable, I think I could've spent a similar amount of money and actually gotten my money's worth. Therefore, I have been nudging Ken in that direction, because with his talent, grades, and work ethic, he can go places.
The reason Abby is up here is that she has an interview in Pittsburgh and the Crouch family is in PA. Unfortunately, I do not think I'll be able to see the Crouches as Abby is visiting them on the same day as Chelle's graduation. I will be able to join Abby in Pittsburgh for her interview next week. Hopefully we'll be able to get together at some point before Sunday (Chelle's party) so I can see the Weiss family and Abby can spend a little more time with my family.
I would really like to get together with some friends this week as well. I got to hang out with Deb this past weekend, which was cool. I have to get in touch with others and see what we can arrange. I am without a vehicle, which is putting a little hiccup in making plans. I was able to borrow Mom's car yesterday, and went to AP to visit some teachers. We were able to catch Mr. Rayer on his last ever day of teaching, Mr. Lauginiger, Mr. Morretta, and Mrs. Farr. Coincidentally, Mr. Farr was also at AP to drop something off for Mrs. Farr, and that had to have been the first time we saw him since our post-Europe BBQ at their place. I was quite pleased to see everyone we did. I still have a strong urge to get a degree in education, and if I were to do so, I would model my style after the aforementioned teachers and Mr. Poynton. Now, more than ever, I realize that I grew up in a low-income school district, but I also had some of the best, most dedicated teachers a student could ask for. Having heard a lot of horror stories from Abby and other friends in education over the past year or two, I don't feel like I made the right choice in changing majors. Instead, I feel a sense of obligation to take what I learned from my teachers at AP, and apply it to my own classroom. I feel that I should continue trying to get a higher-paying and more respectful job for now, but in the near future I should look into getting my Master's in Education.
I think that will do for this entry. I'd like to spend as much time with my family as I can while I am up here, because I don't know when my next opportunity will be. In the meantime, have a snazzy day and be good to each other.

Start Spreading the News

It's official. I can not, in any way, stand the South. It is just not for me. Perhaps it is wrong to generalize, maybe there are parts of the South I'd enjoy living in. If there are, Myrtle beach certainly is not one of those parts. For one thing, this notion of "Southern Hospitality" is the biggest crock I've ever heard. I've gathered that there are those in the South who see us "Yankees" as a bunch of good-for-nothing liberals who use their welfare money to go to gay clubs and abortion clinics for kicks. Southerners have commented on how mean or rude Phildelphians are. I'm sick of it. Southern hospitality is a joke. All it is is that, as Kathryn noted, Southerners are good at making eye contact and initial greetings. After that, there's much to be desired. I have worked in tourism for the past seven years both in Philly and Orlando, and never have I encountered such unpleasant and rude people.

Aside from the general demeanor of the locals, I'm tired of working in tourism. I think I've swallowed a lot of pride recently with school, job hunting, etc. To have to go into work in a cheap uniform everyday and pander to the guests is getting old. This is the same type of job I had throughout high school and college. I want a career now.

So where to next? Ideally, New York. I wanted a break from city life, and I got it. After a month, I'm ready for a city again. As I've said before, I'm a fan of the Bay Ridge neighborhood in Brooklyn where Abby's friend Kara lives. It's a nice area and convenient to everything by the subway. However, getting a job that would pay NY rent and my loan bills is unlikely. I'm still going to look though.

If that doesn't work out, there is a good chance of Abby and I ending up in the Pittsburgh area. There's a school district there that has shown interest in her and would have to be a shit-shoveling factory to be anything but a step up from where she is now. I don't know what I'd do for a job there, but I have looked into opportunities to learn all of the things I wasn't taught at Temple in order to make me a more marketable candidate in the field.

Even with these ideas in place, there is also a good chance I won't be able to afford any of it. I'm expecting about $900 a month of loan payments once June rolls around. I can't think of any job I could get that would pay for that in addition to rent, utilities, and move-in costs. So maybe come summer I'll be swallowing even more pride and moving back in with my parents.

Regardless of where I am in a few months, the bottom line is this. People need to come visit while we still live less than a mile from the beach! We'd love to have a few familiar faces around and it would be fun to hang out here or in Charleston. So come on down.

Bittersweet Symphony

I was about to go to bed, but then I decided to post the past few days worth of self-portraits. Upon titling them, I ended up using titles of a few songs of the later 1990's, and decided to make a sweet playlist to match the photos and construct a blog post from there. So, as long as I can get my photos posted how I like, this should be a fairly decent blog.

Day 215. Can I Graduate?
This title is actually taken from the song "Graduate" by Third Eye Blind, who were one of my favorite bands in high school. I chose this title originally in reference to the fact that I have not yet received my diploma from Temple. Here's what I wrote to accompany the photo:

Despite the fact that I made a litany of ill-informed decisions in my post-secondary career, I am still extremely proud that I am a college graduate. I remember going to friends' houses and seeing their parents wearing clothes with their college logos on them, or seeing such things on TV and thinking how cool it was. Is Temple the greatest school? No. Did I have a great experience? No. Did I get my money's worth? No. Yet I remember on one of my last days of high school, a teacher whose opinion I highly value told me never to be ashamed of who I am or the choices I make. Between that advice and the hard work I put in over the past six years, I will always be proud to say that I graduated from Temple, regardless of how I may feel about the school itself.

Day 216. Wishin' and Hopin'
I realize that the song referenced in the title wasn't originally recorded in the 90's, but the version I like, by Ani DiFranco, was. So this one sneaks in. Looking at this photo made me think about all of the thoughts that have my mind racing these days, and I focused my writing on that. The photo's caption is as follows:

Being home alone for this week has given me a significant amount of time to be alone with my thoughts, perhaps even too much time. Lately I have been doing a hefty amount of thinking about the future and what it holds for me, and how what I am doing now will or will not affect it. I'm happy to be living with Abby, but it is becoming increasingly likely that in order for me to begin achieving financial success I will have to move back in with my parents and/or be apart from Abby again (depending on where she works next year).

Day 217. Everything to Everyone.
Although I have never admitted publicly before now, I've always felt that this song applied to me. It's one of my faults, always trying to be the crowd-pleaser. Originally I planned to write about my desire to change that and focus on my needs a bit more, but as seems to be the trend, I went in another direction:

My job search upon moving to South Carolina was humbling, to say the very least. I came from graduating college and leaving a management position at a respected landmark to answering mindless questions on pre-employment assessments and being denied by Target. Now, as a photographer at Ripley's Aquarium, I have a fun job and am making decent money, but it doesn't feel like enough. Is this how I'm starting off in the so-called "real world?" I wonder if this is just a result of circumstance or a serious lack of work ethic and drive on my part. Regardless, I need to significantly up my efforts in the career search, and go where ever that takes me.

Day 218. I Miss You.
I think Blink 182's "I Miss You" actually came out in the 2000's, but to me they're a 90's band, so I'm including it. This is the one photo where I wrote about what I originally intended to write about. The subject, of course, is Abby and how much I've missed her over the past few days:

It's amazing how things change. Over the course of the second half of 2008, Abby and I were apart much more than we were together. We dealt with it. Now we live together, and have for about a month now. For whatever reason, this week seems almost as hard if not harder than the months we spent apart before. She has only been gone for four days and I miss her terribly. I've always felt, sometimes with good reason, that as a friend or companion, people love me when I'm around, but when I'm not, I'm easily put into the category of out of sight, out of mind. I've realized this week that with my financial status and the looming loan bills, that I have no idea when I'll see the majority of my friends and family again.

Clearly, there's a lot on my mind right now. Most of it comes back to uncertainty, which has been a theme over the past few years. I'm on my eighth address in seven years, I've experienced a multitude of ups and downs, made some major decisions, both beneficial and detrimental, and generally just had an unpredictable life since graduating high school. On one hand, I always looked forward to bit of unpredictability. Now, however, I would like just a little bit more stability in my life. Hopefully, over the course of what should be another unpredictable year, I will find the right balance I need to feel a sense of comfort.

In The Light

It's been a few weeks since my last update, and I'm determined to stay on top of this, so here it goes. I've been working as a photographer at Ripley's Aquarium here in Myrtle Beach. Hopefully, once the paychecks start coming, it'll pay the bills and allow me to save a bit. It's a fun job, and would've been a great job to have at any point before now. The problem is that now I have a degree and I'm working a part-time job. What am I really contributing? I really want to find something in my field and grow and develop within that field. Chances are, this job will last me through summer and I'll seek out more permanent employment elsewhere.

On the subject of elsewhere, Abby is currently in Philadelphia interviewing with several international schools in hopes of finding employment in another country. The most promising prospect at the moment is a school in Maturín, Venezuela. I've been reading conflicting reports on the level of safety for US citizens living or visiting Venezuela this morning, and would love a more definitive answer. I am all for living and working in another country, but I wonder how it would end up. In a country where we don't speak the language, our social circle could end up being limited to the other teachers at the school. This is all well and good, but it's nice to be able to socialize with people outside of work who you do not actually work with. It may seem silly to be considering a social life while there are so many important factors to consider, but it is important. I want to be able to meet new people and make new friends where ever we may end up. As far as international escapades are concerned, I'd love to use an opportunity in Venezuela as a stepping stone to living and working in Europe, where we could comfortably spend a few years.

Very little else is going on in my world at the moment. I miss a few little things about Philadelphia, but not too much. Mainly, its the proximity to friends and ability to walk to a variety of places that I miss. Other than that, I'm ok with where I am now. Occasionally I do encounter the stereotypical Southern attitude, but not often enough that it is a problem. I'm sure it will become a more pleasant experience once tourist season picks up and there is more to do. Those aforementioned paychecks should help too, with trips to Charleston spicing things up a bit.

In the meantime, I hope to find a lead on a job that involves my Film and Media Arts degree in some capacity. I want to have a job in which I feel useful, not just a body performing mindless tasks in repetitive fashion. Also, I am in desperate need of ideas for good self portraits. I am 200+ days into the project and find my creative well running dry.

Sham-Wow!

Updating a blog is not the easiest thing to do when there is really nothing going on in one's life. The job hunt continues, as I have applied to around 25 different places with no luck thus far. I should call the one television station today, but have no idea what to say. "Hi, my name is Pat, have you decided whether or not you're going to hire me yet? I don't want to sound desperate, but I am." I don't know.
Despite the uncertainty of things now, this isn't even what I'm worried about most. My biggest concern right now is what's going to happen after this? If I don't get a TV job, I'll end up with something that pays the bills, which is all fine and dandy, but once Abby leaves there's no way that I will be able to pack up and go somewhere that has jobs for me, such as New York, DC, or LA. I imagine that I'd be stuck inconviencing my parents for a ridiculous amount of time as I struggle to pay off my debt. So, I really hope I get this news job so I can get a decent amount of experience in my field and not waste away in retail or restaurants.
Recently, quite a few of my photos have been garnering interest on Flickr, which is cool. I've mentioned recently how I'd like to spend more time this year on photography, as I feel I have slacked off over the past year or so. The self portrait project has been fun, but I haven't shot on film since May or June and that needs to change. At any rate, here are my top five most interesting photos according to Flickr. You can see a common theme among all but one, which is more than likely popular amongst the perverts in the world.

I think my job search will be relegated to internet searching for awhile. My car is getting low on gas and I'm not too keen on spending too much right now. I'd like to keep my expenses as low as humanly possible as the bank account now only has two digits before the decimal. However, I do need to open a bank account down here, so maybe I'll take care of that and then remain parked here for awhile. I was really counting on a museum pay today, but apparently that is next Friday. Perhaps I'll need it more then anyway.
For a more upbeat update, LOST has been absolutely fantastic so far this season. Learning more about the island's history, Widmore, and connections between characters has been awesome. It took me over an hour to get to sleep after the most recent episode. LOST and Harry Potter are a testament to how much I enjoy a story that is well-told with a keen attention to detail.

Aw, Here It Goes...

What better time to start blogging than now? I have been heavily documenting this past year in a variety of ways, and now with a little extra time on my hands, I've come to the decision that I might as well write about it too.

Just two days ago I drove from my parents' house in Southern New Jersey to my new apartment here in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I imagine that the next few weeks will provide me with several culture shocks. I am fully in "red state" territory. Thus far, the majority of my time has been spent filling out job applications anywhere that I can. I sent a reel and resume into the local NBC affiliate, which for some reason has not yet been received. Clearly, that would be the job of choice. I'd love to get a job in the industry my degree is in and gain some valuable experience.

Though the job hunt has been somewhat tedious, I have the luxury of coming home to the apartment I share with the lovely and talented Abby. It is a decent place (see the photo), just about the right size for a young couple starting their lives after school is out. If I do get the NBC job, I think we'll relocate to a newer apartment in the Market Commons District, a nice little area being built up not too far from here. That is assuming that Abby decides to remain with her current position, which is not the likeliest of scenarios.

In addition to getting a job and being a contributing member of this household, my main goal in this year is to get into better shape and generally live a healthier lifestyle. Once the money starts coming in, I'll be joining a gym. Prior to that, I hope to get a lot of walking and/or jogs in as the weather down here is considerably warmer than back up North. I also wouldn't mind taking up tennis with Abby. She has repeatedly made it clear that she is horrible at the sport, which should make us about even. On top of all the activity, I need to focus on eating better and having an overall healthy lifestyle.

As most who would read this already know, I have been doing a project in which I take a self portrait every day for a year. Today is day 191, just past the halfway mark. Although the quality anf creativity of photographs has declined recently, I am proud of how well I am sticking to this, having missed only one day (121). I am open to ideas for different photos or shoots to try, as I now only have two days out of the remaining six months planned.

I suppose that today's post will end here. My computer is currently located on the floor and it is not the most comfortable position to be typing in. Hopefully my updates will be frequent and will soon include tales of job offers and success.